The past few weeks brought back some memories, and I realized that my views on God were a little off. Now, I have been single for three years now, which means three years ago I was dumped.
Now, at the time three years ago, I was filled with anxiety and I had no idea who I was. My ex breaking up with me turned me completely inside out, I was heartbroken and hopeless, because I still had a lot to deal with. I came to God with it all, after I was the complete crazy ex girlfriend, I asked God a lot of questions.
One being, why the heck do I have to deal with anxiety and depression?
I asked this a lot. And God answered me a lot. This was the moment in my life where I was completely turned around and God found me right where I was at. I was also getting looks, a lot of looks, from my ex. Now, I do have to say I was mean. I don’t want to blame it on my anxiety, it was fully because I didn’t know who I was, or was I walking with Christ.
I got eye rolls. I got hate full looks. And I completely was broken through all of it. I was confused. Because, honestly I did apologize, but news flash: humans won’t always forgive and that’s okay.
I found out my ex was in a relationship. And that’s okay. I wasn’t heartbroken, but I would say it brought back all the looks that I received from him.
And I just know someone else out there needs to hear this part.
One night I was driving home and I just heard this voice, God doesn’t roll His eyes. Every time I saw an eye roll, or I didn’t get approval from someone, it’s like a block between myself and God. That no matter what I do, or how many times I say sorry, God won’t want me. In fact, He is rolling His eyes at me. And this is where my view on God was wrong.
But, hear this.
God doesn’t roll His eyes.
God doesn’t look at us with hate.
He doesn’t judge us by our past.
He looks at us with love.
He gives us blessings because we are His.
He gives us hope for the future.
He doesn’t roll His eyes at us.
You are loved
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